Stress and reaction

Everyday we are faced with something… big or small it puts stress on us… and if you are like me… you deal with it and THEN the massive tidal wave hits you… go eat…. most of the time I can fight through it… yesterday I didn’t.

That was yesterday.  I could sit here and pound my head against the wall… but that is just more stress.  What I need is an alternative stress release… or the pattern will just repeat.

I am giving myself a few extra minutes of cuddle time with my pooch.  I have plans to meet some friends for a good walk tonight (rain or shine!)

Trying to remind myself… life isn’t what you did yesterday… it’s about right now.  This is the moment we need to live in… Stressing out over what I did yesterday is not the direction I am facing!

Here is to a day filled with extra cuddles and probably some puddles… for which I will put on my rain boots and splash!!!!


Finding your strength

Do you know how many diets you have tried in life?  I am not even sure for me… I have tried so many over the years.  I started dieting at the ripe old age of 8… yes, 8!

I would lose a little, get off track, throw the baby out with the bath water, gain it all back, start all over again.  IP has been a different journey.  I lost the weight… held it off for two years, got sick, put a few pounds back on… and grabbed hold of myself, used what I had learned and righted my course… WOW!!!!

For anyone new or struggling… take the time to learn to cook.  Enjoy the process… phase 1 doesn’t last forever, but the lessons you learn will!!!  If you are on Ideal Protocol, you have already accepted the challenge!  I promise, the life you get is worth it!!!!!


Feel like you aren’t fast enough?

img_8418Are you a slow loser like me?  I have been averaging between .5-1 pound a week.  I have a thyroid issue and hormonal challenges.

I am losing… but more importantly I am feeling better!  I have a little bit of energy, & I am smiling again.

Weight is not a battle that you win and it’s over… It’s something we need to be aware of and fight everyday.  Keep this in mind, no matter how small, celebrate the effort…

This isn’t a race…. it’s life!


Living not just existing

I am afraid of everything. It’s ridiculous, and I am aware of that. I battle constant anxiety. I fear being good enough, liked, successful. I fear being alone and big crowds.

I am a walking contradiction.

I spent 30+ years of my life quietly existing because I was too afraid of living.

It took a lot of work to get to a point where, while still afraid, I could try. I push through my fears, and force myself to experience new things.

How did happen? One day I realized my biggest fear was the feeling of being afraid. That trembling, achy, panicky feeling. I let it incapacitate me. Then I tried something anyway… and I was still afraid… I can even tell you what I tried… I was in New York and inside the gift shop at the World Trade Center… I was so afraid of heights that I had a blinding panic attack at the thought of going all the way up. I took a deep breath and went to the top… OMG… I was in full panic mode at this point… but the view… I remember it was a clear day and you could see the reflection of the twin towers in the river… I flew home that afternoon… very happy I had gone out on that balcony even though I was shaking the entire time.

Even now, thinking about this, that was a defining moment. I spent my life, until then, missing out on so much. I will never, ever forget that moment. It was September 10, 2001.

When I am having a bad day, I remember that moment. A moment where, if I had not pushed through my fear and blind panic, I would have missed forever.

Today I am exhausted and fighting the urge to crawl back in bed and stay there. Instead of giving in, I am pulling on my tennis shoes, going for a walk, and planning how to conquer myself.

I want to live not just exist!!!!img_8370


I don’t know about you, but being rewarded with food was normal for me. Whether it was myself or from someone else, frozen yogurt, a candy bar, or a nice meal out for an achievement were common. After doing this program for about a year, my mindset has shifted. No longer am I rewarding myself with an indulgence of food, I am focused on rewarding myself with things that are things I do not have to put in my mouth. This may be easier said than done because it takes a while for us to shift our habits and perspectives.

I have come to enjoy going for an asian foot massage ($18), treating myself to a movie ($10), or driving somewhere beautiful. A lot of this program is a lifestyle and centered around a change in perspective. So, the question is, What do you do to reward yourself?

Easily distracted by tasty objects.


I saw this shirt and was laughing… hard enough for tears to come out my eyes… and then the tears were no longer laughter.

I absolutely relate to this shirt, and the struggle is REAL!!!!

I wake up everyday. Today is going to be perfect. I have my food prepped and ready to go. My walking shoes are next to my bed. My clothes are laid out. I am READY… and then I throw the covers off… it’s cold and dark…. it’s raining… and so it starts.

Everyday I am deluged with things that try to derail me. It’s just not that easy to stay 100 focused. But, in order to be where I want to be… I can not be derailed.

So this shirt reminds me… it’s easy to loose focus… but I am strong. I am worth it…. I have stopped crying. Let’s do this!!!!

Getting Out of the Cheating Spiral



It wasn’t as bad as the Birthday Binge, but the indulgences were spread out and went on for longer. I was more careful to minimize carbs and rice as to not have another bathroom disaster. I also made sure to consistently drink at least one or two glasses of warm water with ACV during the day and Smooth Move Tea at night. This was after Renee had already given the advice to surround myself with positive people that want to help me succeed and to cut out ones that don’t. However, it’s my family that stresses me the most. I can’t cut them out.

I’m still trying to learn how to cope with my emotional eating. I’m also realizing that french fries are my kryptonite. Rare pastries I haven’t eaten in awhile are appealing as well. As I type this, I ate two mini chocolate cream cheese bundlets from a co-worker. And what started the cheating was leftover french fries from the same co-worker in combination with my family not respecting my boundaries. I was doing so well and I know I won’t make as much progress my next weigh-in.


Rather than focus on a lack of progress I’m finally following through with Renee’s suggestion of writing my positive accomplishments of 2016:


Secured a full-time job in a preferred career field.

Got out of an abusive relationship.

Found a home for just myself and my dog.

Completed an empowerment seminar and reconnected with family.

Made the most progress with de-hoarding so far and have half a storage unit left to tackle.

Created enough room in my life for a 2nd corgi – Maximus.

Started Ideal Protein and lost 30 lbs. in 3 months.
Healed a broken heart.


And for 2017 I’ve already managed to:

Get hired permanently.

Go on a date.

Complete the advanced seminar.

Chat more regularly with my sisters.


I have decided to focus on what is in my control: myself and my progress. I’m experimenting with more dessert recipes. Trying to create the chocolatiest things possible, but still remaining on protocol. I’m also on the hunt for rutabagas. To get out of this spiral, I am overdosing on positive things and puppies.