A friend told me yesterday she felt like she should have done a better job being “there” for me. This is my one of my best friends. I have known her for 30+ years!
She has always been “there” for me. Maybe not standing right next to me, but definitely “there”.
As I listened to her cry and heard how angry she was at herself, it occurred to me just how badly we judge ourselves. I had to stop her, and tell her. “Honey, that is your perception. You have always been right here for me. On the phone, on my shoulder, in my heart. You are part of me.” I then listed a few of the million times she has been my lifeline.
She heard me, and started to calm down. We were “there” for each other. Then, she started asking why we don’t always reach out, until we are close to breaking. She’s right! Why does it take the feeling of helplessness before we are willing to seek help? Especially when someone is “there”!
I have an amazing group of people around me that want to be “there”. I refer to them as my village. This is family and friends who are willing to be honest with me, listen, and guide or distract. They hear what I am saying, and provide a different perspective. They guide me to better options, keeping in mind that the final choice has always been up to me.
When we isolate because of fear, depression, anger, and hurt, it’s easy to forget that help is a phone call away… and the longer it takes to pick up the phone, the harder it becomes.
So here I am.. willing to be part of our village. Recognizing that I am one foot in isolation and one foot in participation. I am a great listener, and working on being a better communicator. I am focusing on the fact that I am not alone, and am part of a village of folks who are banded together to get healthy.
If you need a village, start by calling your coach. Make the call! My coaches picked up when I called. Renee reminded me that she is right there for me. She listened without judgement, and was encouraging healthy options. I am now going in regularly, and getting help and guidance.
Be gentle to yourself. If you are beating yourself up for letting life drag you down.. I get it! You need that village to remind you that you are worth more than you are giving yourself. You might need someone to remind you to fight. Only you can make the changes… but assemble your village to help cheer you on! Cuz Honey, you are worth it!