When to seek help

I can blame the stress. I can blame my health, I can blame the world. I choose to accept that I own my problem.

I got tasked with a new challenge… and I have an awesome boss who preaches work life balance (and actually walks her talk.). She reminds me daily not to burn out… and yet I don’t listen and work 12+ hours a day.

I have an awesome husband, who reminds me to be present and part of the family. Who is ready and willing to be helpful… and yet I try to do it all.

I have family and friends who invite me to do things with them… get outside, get fresh air… and I “can’t” because I am working.

I have a wonderful coach, who checks on me when I go radio silent, and encourages me to make healthy choices…

My support system is firmly in place… my head knows what to do… my body is screaming at me to listen…

Like any addict… the struggle between what we SHOULD do… and what we ACTUALLY do consumes our lives. And it takes wake up calls to make a change. The challenge is staying motivated and pushing through what is best for us, versus what is comfortable for us…

Following Ideal Protein isn’t hard… it’s uncomfortable. Yes it’s a strict diet, yes it’s pre-packaged stuff.. but others have paved the way to make it delicious. Is there an effort… yes… does it take planning… yes. Is that hard? No… but it isn’t easy.

The bigger challenge is facing all the reasons you didn’t make your health a priority. Finding something inside you worth the fight.. and the making that a lifetime commitment. Damn, growing up sucks!

Today is a new start. And the only way to start is to take a step… listen and activate support systems… breathe… dig deep… and make a plan. SMART goal time.

I will lose a minimum of 10 pounds between today and July 22, and I will do so following strict protocol, including weekly visits to my coach, and I will not hide from the scale.

Today I make my health my priority.

Depends on where you look

I was walking my pooch this morning and all the sudden it was raining.  It’s May, it’s cold, it’s raining… again.  I looked up… dark clouds… to the right and front of me blue sky.  What the heck?

I started to feel like a cartoon character where the rain stays right over that guy..  and no one else!

Wait a minute.  I am not a cartoon character.  I can choose to go to where it’s blue sky.  So I did.

May you look for and find blue sky today. Then go for it!!!!

 

Random acts of kindness

My coach and I were talking and I was relaying a story. She commented on how I take emotions in, and how they affect me deeply.

I did some listening and assessing this week. She is right… but it is who I am. When something happens, good or bad, to someone I care about… I get charged emotionally.

When I am emotionally charged, I don’t necessarily take time to make decisions. I react.

Two weeks ago I was dealing with this emotionally charged reaction. To counteract it, I was trying to do random acts of kindnesses to strangers.

This week, I was focused on me. How selfish right? Wrong! I was still doing random acts of kindness for others, I just made sure I was being kind to me too!

The funny thing is, I had more energy to give. I had more joy to give. I made smart choices, and had less guilt. Morale of the story for me: Do not just practice random acts of kindness on others. Surprise yourself too! It helps spread the good things in life: kindness, joy, and love.

The gift of prepping

I know it’s only been a week… and I know I am a hormonal train wreck… but for the first time in a while I feel good. It doesn’t matter what the scale says…

I see a lot of posts about people on their second+ round. You get back on and it’s harder. That is true.

It’s also true that you can do it. I tried several times to restart… but I didn’t give it my all. I was micro cheating. Cheats that happen because you are not 100% focused. Fattier meats, a little extra oil, a dash of this, a lick of that… just one bite won’t hurt… poof derailed.

Last Saturday I sat with my coach for the first time in a while. There was no lecture. Just love and support. Instead of feeling bad about the weight gain.. I was encouraged to plan and prepare for where I am right now.

I spent a few hours prepping for the week… I made my menu plan, purchased my groceries, prepped my veggies, and precooked what I could.

I stopped worrying about my next meal because it was ready to go. Seriously, I actually gave myself an extra 30 minutes of sleep every morning by not having to get up and deal with making lunches and pulling out “something” for dinner. If I was running late at night, my hubby knew what was planned and could help out. I could start my day logging all my food into MyFitnessPal… and know I was on track!

I lost sight of how powerful prepping and planning can be. I work 40+ miles from home, and I have been working 9-10 hour days. Work life balance is critical but hard to do… spending an additional hour a day agonizing over what to feed everyone, especially when the menu request is “whatever” (my least favorite meal to cook by the way!), is draining.

This week could have been just another “whatever” kind of week… but it wasn’t! Planning and prepping gave me more time to relax…. and that is the best gift ever!!!!!

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Breathe in…. and out

Today was one of those days. I woke up at 5am and never stopped.

I started my day with my coffee and protein shake… 5 meetings later I realized I needed to eat… but couldn’t get away from my desk… I found my bag of Ideal Protein Salt and Vinegar chips. 5 more meetings and I am starting to get kind of hangry. Oops….

My hubby fed me a bun-less burger. Better!

The reality is we need to stop and eat… I also need to stop, and breathe… balance… time to center and balance again…

Just a small reminder… keep the big picture in perspective. Breathe… stretch… eat well… sleep well… it is really helping me to keep the stress and the cortisol down!!!!

Living not just existing

I am afraid of everything. It’s ridiculous, and I am aware of that. I battle constant anxiety. I fear being good enough, liked, successful. I fear being alone and big crowds.

I am a walking contradiction.

I spent 30+ years of my life quietly existing because I was too afraid of living.

It took a lot of work to get to a point where, while still afraid, I could try. I push through my fears, and force myself to experience new things.

How did happen? One day I realized my biggest fear was the feeling of being afraid. That trembling, achy, panicky feeling. I let it incapacitate me. Then I tried something anyway… and I was still afraid… I can even tell you what I tried… I was in New York and inside the gift shop at the World Trade Center… I was so afraid of heights that I had a blinding panic attack at the thought of going all the way up. I took a deep breath and went to the top… OMG… I was in full panic mode at this point… but the view… I remember it was a clear day and you could see the reflection of the twin towers in the river… I flew home that afternoon… very happy I had gone out on that balcony even though I was shaking the entire time.

Even now, thinking about this, that was a defining moment. I spent my life, until then, missing out on so much. I will never, ever forget that moment. It was September 10, 2001.

When I am having a bad day, I remember that moment. A moment where, if I had not pushed through my fear and blind panic, I would have missed forever.

Today I am exhausted and fighting the urge to crawl back in bed and stay there. Instead of giving in, I am pulling on my tennis shoes, going for a walk, and planning how to conquer myself.

I want to live not just exist!!!!img_8370